The following entry contains references to grooming, suicide, emotional abuse, and sexual assault. It is meant to inform the public of my reasons for leaving the band and to help prevent future incidents. All information is documented and verifiable upon request.
Table of contents
Introduction
My name is Thomas Knight. I am a founding member of Bear Ghost.
As much as I would like to share my personal experience in full, I recognize that my words have an impact on others and that every line must be substantiated with factual evidence.
Some sections contain my personal testimony (such as my conversations with Andrew and Ryan), as well as statements from two people who were close to Andrew who would prefer to remain anonymous.
Bear Ghost has indicated they do not wish to discuss this topic in any capacity. However, I believe what happened is of public concern and that meaningful accountability cannot exist without honesty and transparency. Discussion among fans is strongly encouraged, but please do not take any part of this as an invitation to personally harass anyone involved.
What Happened?
On May 24th, 2019, I chose to quit Bear Ghost in protest.
Our bassist, Andrew Heath, began dating an 18 year-old when he was 30. She had just graduated high school. In the month prior to my departure, I heard him make plans for her to move in with him into his new 3-bedroom house.
I did not want to get involved initially, but the news of her moving in made me realize that I had not done enough to determine whether or not abuse had occurred. A man being attracted to a teenager is always a red flag, even if he is your band mate.
On May 5th, 2019, Andrew agreed to talk to me about his relationship.
He confirmed that he and his girlfriend met when she was 13. She joined a martial arts class instructed by Andrew’s parents at The Center for Humane Living. It is not known how close he was to her during this time or how often they interacted, as I have received very different accounts from those closest to him. However, Andrew has maintained their introduction was nothing more than a formality.
According to his girlfriend’s blog, his mother began “mentoring” her in and outside of class. She also claimed she and Andrew were not close during this period and had barely spoken to each other until she was 17.
On the band’s Facebook page, she made an emotional response to concerns that Andrew had taken advantage of his role as an instructor. She clarified that he was never her “mentor,” stating:
“Andrew’s mother is my second mom. At times she was my only mom. SHE was my person. SHE was MY mentor. My go to. Not Andrew. […] His mom gave me everything when I had nothing. She is my mom too, just like his dad is my dad. They both have gone above and beyond for me and they are my other parents. My family.”
According to a close family friend (Jane Doe), the Heaths often invited Andrew’s girlfriend to family gatherings and treated her as their daughter. Jane claimed that Andrew and his girlfriend were close when she was underage and that they would refer to each other as “brother and sister.” Jane also recalled feeling uncomfortable with the way Andrew interacted with the young girl and felt that he was not doing enough to set clear boundaries.
According to Andrew and additional public statements, Andrew’s girlfriend experienced a deeply traumatic loss while she was in high school. Her friend committed suicide. She was 17 when Andrew reached out and began developing an emotionally intimate friendship with her outside of karate. In the same post on the band’s Facebook page, she stated:
“This was new to my friend group and none of us really knew how to cope with it. No one really understood the pain I felt. Andrew happened to be there when I was talking about this. He reached out to support me when no one else would.”
According to his former roommate, Andrew began inviting the young student to his home during her senior year—with visits becoming more frequent as she approached graduation. In her blog, she clarified that these visits did not occur while she was underage, but that she and Andrew would have weekly lunches, presumably during her time in high school, stating:
“I never went to Andrew’s house when I was under 18. We had lunch sometimes. After a while it became lunch on Tuesdays. Always in a public place and never more than an hour or two.”
On February 13th, 2018, Andrew took her to see Hamilton and posed with his arm around her for Instagram. She was 17 years old. On Valentine’s Day, she posted the photo without tagging him and included the words, “Wait for it ⭐”.
In Hamilton’s “Wait For It,” Aaron Burr sings about his love affair with Theodosia, the wife of a British officer. Believing their relationship would be problematic if it became public, Burr decides he will wait for an opportunity to be with her that no longer poses a threat to his political image and career.
During my discussion with Andrew, I expressed concern with the possibility that his gestures and lack of conventional boundaries may have facilitated romantic feelings in the recently traumatized high school student. Andrew strongly disagreed and assured me that romantic and sexual feelings were never a part of their friendship—and that he was also not attracted to her until after she graduated.
His girlfriend later shared a similar, but different, sentiment, saying she never thought about dating him until after she turned 18, and also claimed in her blog, “The romantic aspect of our relationship was not spoken about or even hinted at until I was over 18.”
When I asked Andrew how her parents felt about the relationship, he claimed her mother had resorted to harassing his family over their relationship. He also accused her parents of being physically and emotionally abusive toward their daughter, claiming her father was a “verbally abusive racist” and her mother was a “physically abusive, manipulative, control freak.”
Andrew told me her parents would often refuse or ignore his invitations to get to know him and complained that he had once spent over $600 on tickets for them, which her father refused. He also told me he “answered her mother’s concerns” by repeatedly telling her, “I am dating your daughter as an adult that can make adult decisions,” “her choices are her choices alone,” and “I have always given her my viewpoints on what the consequences of those choices are. That’s as far as I will go.”
The following screenshot is a message Andrew sent to me and my fiancée, Marina, shortly after we talked about meeting up.
These details, along with Andrew’s refusal to acknowledge the influence of his age and experience over a teenager, made me concerned that he had groomed her or worse—and that his support system was enabling him.
Pressure
I talked to each member of Bear Ghost about the situation (including our manager, Matthew Bentley) and outlined my personal concerns as to how this could reflect on our work if his relationship became public. I also told them I was no longer comfortable with playing Disney covers or doing all-ages shows, which had become a significant part of Bear Ghost’s image.
Every member I spoke with expressed discomfort with Andrew’s decision to date a teenager and all agreed it would be damaging to the band’s reputation if the public found out. However, when discussing possible resolutions, Ryan Abel (Andrew’s best friend) rejected all attempts to intervene, draw boundaries, or get in front of the issue and proposed instead that we keep quiet about the relationship.
When I told him I was afraid this could be more serious and that I did not want to be complicit in a cover-up, Ryan argued that doing “nothing” was not the same as actively covering something up. When I wasn’t convinced, he tried to assure me that it was highly unlikely anyone would even ask about her age. When I pressed him on what we would do if someone did start asking questions, he said to just tell the truth.
This felt dishonest though because if telling the truth was of no consequence, there would be no reason to stay quiet—unless you were trying to cover something up.
I began to see a pattern of cognitive dissonance with Ryan. He told me that I was right to be concerned, but there was nothing to worry about; that Andrew was being transparent about his relationship, but he didn’t want to talk about it; that nobody was hiding anything, but we should avoid drawing attention to the relationship; and that everyone is being honest, but we shouldn’t discuss certain details.
Ryan told me my suggestion to replace Andrew made sense, but that he was opposed to it because doing so would upset Andrew’s girlfriend, who would apparently struggle to comprehend why we would choose to distance ourselves.
I thought we were working toward a way to protect Bear Ghost, but it became clear to me then that Ryan was more concerned with trying to prevent certain details about Andrew’s relationship from reaching beyond their inner circle.
Another red flag.
I reached a breaking point and told Ryan I quit. The next day, I sent a message to Matt, Myke, and Ryan informing them of my departure. I included my reasons for leaving, my perspective on what led us here, and what I wanted to say to the public.
Ryan accused me of blackmail, despite the fact that I did not ask for anything and explicitly told them I quit. He claimed I did not care about how this would affect Andrew’s girlfriend, that drawing boundaries would be damaging to her because of her age, and that my intentions were selfish and malicious—while also telling me he understood that I was trying to protect her and that he believed I was right.
The following screenshots are taken from BearGhostOfficial’s leaked Timeline:
On May 25th, 2019, I announced my departure on social media.
The Response
Many folks were supportive of me, but many former friends, fans, and musicians distanced themselves or harassed me online. Ryan and Andrew were harassed as well and after Andrew’s girlfriend positioned herself in front of the controversy and made her aforementioned public statement to the band’s Facebook page in their defense, additional harassment was experienced by all parties.
As I confronted the loss of my relationships, I began to spiral. On May 29th, 2019, I sent Andrew an apology and took everything down. He did not respond.
Months later, I learned many Bear Ghost fans were not aware of why I quit. Some were not aware of my departure at all. I also learned Bear Ghost intended to continue using my work without paying royalties or acknowledging the details of what happened—and a significant number of fans, fellow artists, photographers, venue owners, and engineers still continued to support the band.
On August 30th, 2019, I created grizzlyphantom.com to act as a permanent resource for what happened.
Zia Records
On September 8th, 2019, Zia Records rescinded a split-vinyl distribution deal with Bear Ghost and Mega Ran after becoming aware of why I left. In response, Bear Ghost drafted a lawsuit against me for “tortious interference of business relationships.”
In contrast, Mega Ran expressed his support—and when talking about whether or not I should contact the Phoenix New Times, he told me, “You’ve come so far. And what’s right is right.”
Podcast Interview
On September 25th, 2019, I was contacted to do an interview about my decision to quit the band. The host attempted to contact other members of Bear Ghost, saying, “I want to make sure I present the story very unbiased and give everyone an equal opportunity to say their side.”
Bear Ghost declined the interview.
Three months after it was published, Bear Ghost accused me of making “defamatory comments,” which included:
- referring to Andrew’s teenage girlfriend as a teenager;
- discussing the possibility of abuse in situations that involve grooming;
- alleging Ryan had enabled the relationship and tried to convince me to stay quiet.
Sexual Assault Allegations
On December 15, 2019, Marina Sharpe published a blog on her personal WordPress, Marina’s Musings, publicly accusing Ryan Abel of two incidents of sexual assault and a years-long pattern of emotional manipulation.
The following is his response, which I will be providing context for in the next section:
In response to the second allegation of sexual assault, Ryan insisted he was not aware of any signs that Marina was too intoxicated to consent. Despite her claim that he had pinned her against the wall, Ryan accused her of initiating physical contact with him, saying, “[…] it’s my word against someone who can’t remember the event. But nearly every witness at the party can attest to her insistent behavior toward me on the evening in question.”
Marina had just turned 20. Ryan was 27.
While addressing the emotional abuse allegations, Ryan denied them and claimed, “This is not the way I remember our relationship.” Later in the same paragraph, Ryan admitted his behavior caused Marina harm and claimed his “inexperience with dating” and “emotional baggage” had taken an unintentional toll on her.
Ryan went on to say he could not discredit the way Marina felt about the abuse she experienced, but that she had “grossly and inexcusably manipulated” his intentions to fit a narrative, claiming her comments were “extremely unfair,” “blatantly false,” and “wildly slanderous.” He also referred to a pattern of behavior he had engaged in, which had resulted in scrutiny from his friends and several women he had hurt over the years.
This pattern is what Marina referred to as emotional abuse and manipulation, as Ryan often blurred sexual boundaries through a “consistent inability and failure to make a clean break and provide closure.” In her blog, Marina explained that as Ryan continued to repeat this pattern with other women, she began to feel he had knowingly and intentionally preyed on her during the first allegation of sexual assault—in which Ryan exploited her emotional instability immediately after breaking up with her and pressured her into having sex with him.
Ryan described his behavior in a more broad and positive way, saying, “When you break up with someone, it hurts them. And if you care for them, it hurts you. My problem is that I do my best to make the person feel as good as I can.”
He closed his statement by claiming that even though multiple people had talked to him about this behavior, he was somehow unaware that what he was doing was harmful:
“Over the past few years, I’ve come to realize (…) that it is confusing and ultimately selfish. That, even though I didn’t realize it, I want them to feel better so that I feel better. And it is far more damaging than it is helpful. But I’m listening, and I’m learning and I’m doing my best to improve every day.”
On July 17th, 2020, seven months after accusing Marina of libel, Ryan announced on Facebook that one of his ex-girlfriends was seven months pregnant with his child.
Lawsuit
On December 18th, 2019, Bear Ghost drafted the aforementioned lawsuit and cited various tort claims, including:
- defamation
- blackmail
- false light invasion of privacy
- tortious interference with business relationships
- intentional infliction of emotional distress
The band also claimed to have suffered “reputational, business, and emotional damages” and outlined that any resolution would need to include a Non-Disclosure Provision, stating that both Marina and I would agree to “not discuss Bear Ghost or any of its members in any way” for an unspecified length of time.
Luckily, we were put into contact with a skilled lawyer, but were advised to take down all content related to Bear Ghost and its members as a gesture of good faith during negotiations. While we found it difficult to cope with the feeling of being silenced, we attempted to form a compromise all parties could accept—which would have included the band making a public statement acknowledging the details of Andrew’s relationship. Over the course of several months, negotiations frequently stalled.
Arrest
On May 28th, 2020, Marina and I were arrested for protesting police brutality. On June 1st, 2020, we appeared on AZFamily with Briana Whitney to talk about the ongoing protests. I bring this up because the incident was extremely public, as we were the first two people arrested and our mugshots were being shared by strangers online.
We also received an email from our lawyer informing us that Bear Ghost intended to file the lawsuit if we did not agree to their terms by June 5th, saying, “The other side is apparently not interested in any further concessions.”
The band had not made a single concession during negotiations and were now pressuring us to agree to their terms in full:
After reading it, Marina and I decided not to sign the agreement and waited for Bear Ghost to file the lawsuit.
Bear Ghost did not file the lawsuit.
Concluding Remarks
I recognize that Bear Ghost is able to spend tens of thousands of dollars on litigation to hold me liable for whatever losses or reputational damages they believe they’re entitled to, but they could also just as easily donate that money to organizations like RAINN, Joyful Heart Foundation, Safe Horizon, Southern Arizona Center Against Sexual Assault, National Sexual Violence Resource Center or Darkness To Light, and help provide resources to victims of abuse.
There is still a lot more that needs to be discussed, but for the time being, I would like to thank you for reading this. I know it’s a lot, but I appreciate your efforts in doing what you can to ensure accountability within our communities.
If you would like to listen to the interview I did in September, it can be found here.
Thank you for reading.
grizzlyphantom.wordpress.com 
You must be logged in to post a comment.